is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Randomize
