I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
