just survived the first fart of the relationship.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
