Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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