Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
