What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
