loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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