the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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