you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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