I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I need a beard to bite.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
