it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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