So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
