If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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