i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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