508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
