He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
