I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
