So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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