I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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