Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
