fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
