I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
