you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
