Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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