lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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