the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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