you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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