Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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