I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
