do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
