do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
