just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
