At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
