So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
