Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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