Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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