I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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