weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
