oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
