Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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