just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Enjoy the penises
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
