I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
