Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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