I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
