Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
