You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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