so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
