a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
