i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
