I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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