You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm really busy with my period
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